The Post Which Had A Rude Shock

This Post Includes –

• An angry rant about the ridiculous HSSM allocation scheme.
• An analogy with hot dancing girls in a school play/dance.
• The reason why I got a rude shock.

Every sem, every single sodding sem, something always has to be wrong with the HSSM allocation policy. Unlike other courses, where the add/drop is a very clean, efficient and probably the best way to select courses, the HSSM allocation leaves a lot to be desired. The reason(s) for this rant is/are given after I make yet another pointless, yet surprisingly relevant analogy.

Not participating much in school plays was, with foresight, a serious mistake on my part. Not just would it have been an awesome way to bunk classes, but you would get to hobnob with pretty girls from several batches and divisions (you know, seniors and juniors, different divisions). The difference is that this time, not just would you have something to talk to them about, but you would also get a certificate for ‘participation’ in the play.

The fun part of plays is in their making. Imagine you are participating in some form of a musical. A play with dances. And you have been selected as one of the two dozen guys who get to dance with pretty girls. Not bad, eh? You get to dance with them every single day of the rehearsal. If you feel you want to spend more time with aforementioned girl, you can always make the odd mistake, forcing you to redo the part again. On the final day, you get to be seen with your pretty dancing partner by all the audience. And in all the time you have spend in the rehearsal, you can probably hit on a good half dozen of them. Bloody brilliant.

But there are three glitches in this whole arrangement. In every dance, the number of girls is always one less than what is required. FACT. Trust me. The second is that not all dancing girls are ultra pretty, hell no! But atleast you can make do with the other ones. So what is the third, and undoubtably, the worst problem, you ask? Something I am sure most people are familiar with – There is always one teacher in each school who downright hates you. The other kids can get away with murder in front of her. If you as much as sniff your nose, she likens you to Saddam Hussein minus his good qualities.

As is often the case, this teacher shows her ugly mug wherever you are, desperately trying to make your life miserable. And more often than not, she has some say in deciding which guy gets paired with which girl in the dance. Ergo, you are the one guy in the dance who doesnt have a partner. Cases like these result in another GUY being drafted in, for the girl-part of the dance. Its an emergency, you see. Being the only person in the dance without a partner, you get paired with aforementioned GUY, who tends to be a shade too effeminate for comfort.

Call me homophobic, but this is the worst thing which could happen to you. Spending all your rehearsal time dancing with a GUY. Every pretty girl thinking you are Queer. Being too disgusted to hit on girls. Going in front of a thousand people, and dancing with a crossdresser. Having everyone you know in your life present in the audience. The nickname sticking with you for the entirity of your school life. Holy friggin hell! The weight of world on your shoulders! And it is in times like these, when you take one look at your dance partner, you understand why the term “badly pissed off” was invented. Do you get a feeling of how pissed with life you would be if you were in this situation? Hold that thought.

So, what is the analogy I am trying to make with the help of this fictitious scenario? Well, I am the guy in the dance who is hated by the teacher. My dancing partner is the HSSM I was alloted. The suspect-Queer guy is ‘Telugu literature’. The pretty girl is ‘Globalisation‘. Well, I wanted the pretty girl as a dancing partner. Instead, I was paired with the guy. Sure, there are others who would like ‘Telugu Literature‘, and consequently, the effeminate guy. But I was not one of them. And which was why I was pissed as hell. Honestly, does my name sound Telugu or something?

I mean, come on, all I know about telugu are half a dozen swear words. Heck, I cant read and write my own mothertongue, and I was expected to learn a language I dont plan to ever use. And that too, in a class filled with people who have been using it since they could talk. Thankfully, with a bit of negotiation, I managed to get the Religion-Society-whats-its-name course. So much for the rant then. Sort the sodding HSSM allocation out.

*Curses the method used for HSSM allocation*

-> Badrinath.S

P.S.: Wanted to write a movie review. Dhoom 2 – A review of the first eleven excruciating minutes. Next post probably.

P.P.S.: No more news on the Liverpool Sheikh-over.

Currently Listening To : Disturbed

Their Best Songs (imo) : Violence, Liberate, Down with the Sickness