The Post Which Laughs At People - I

People, eh? What can you say?

Most people are funny. Before you go around jumping to conclusions about my sense of humour (or the apparent lack of it), let me clarify. When i say they are funny, i dont mean “They have a great sense of humour. They really are funny! Lets laugh WITH them. Ha, ha!”. What I really mean is - “Ha! What retards! Lets laugh AT them.” *sneers*. So, straight to the laughing at people part.

First in the list - Britney Spears. A few years back, she was hailed as the queen (or princess) of all things pop. She was setting fashion trends (the Whale Tail too, wikipedia tells me), was voted among the most influential people around (makes you wonder, doesnt it?), sold seventy million plus records (despite her obvious lack of musical talent) on her way to winning a Grammy (shocking!), and had a huge fan following. Heck, there were actually people who considered her ‘good looking’.

Cut to 2007, what do you see? Stressed out, divorced, nearing backrupcy, addicted to drugs, hanging out with Paris Hilton and … to top all this off … BALD! Now, there is something about her i dont really understand. I mean her panties-optional dress code. Well, to be honest, i dont understand a lot many things about a lot many people, but this has to be the absolute number one thing i dont get. Do women get some kind of kick out of this? Or as Shamita Shetty would have us believe, do they sometimes “forget” to wear them?

Anyhow, she apparently shaved her hair off, went running around the rehab center screaming about being a devil spawn, with 666 or some such written on her head. Before trying (unsuccesfully) to committ suicide. Can you picture that? Funny as hell.

Next on the list - the Indian and Pakistani cricket teams. The best team EVER from India, the papers would have us believe. “This is our year!” - people screamed from their dusty rooftops. Page after wasted page dedicated to “The Warriors in Blue“. Journalist after blinkered journalist ranting and raving about these two teams. Ex-players replete with blue-tinted glasses heaping praise on the spirit, talent and experience of the Indian Cricket team.

Heck, Cricket World Cup Mania(TM) seemed to have taken over even Hyderabad Times. Normally, i read the paper to ogle at pictures of pretty (but sadly, brain-dead) bimbos. Earlier, right next to these pictures, they used to print articles about their daring misadventures the previous night. The rags now print their interviews. About which Indian cricketer they consider “hot“. And why India will win the world cup. Answers of course, ranging from the very sensible “I dont follow cricket. But i still think India will win. WooHoo!! Go Men in Blue!” to the its-so-stupid-its-hilarious “Dhoni is hot. India will win!”.

And what do you see, a week into the tourney? Pakistan returning, defeated byIreland (for the love of god! Ireland!) and the WI (if memorey serves right). India being defeated by Bangladesh, by FIVE wickets. One more loss, and they get kicked out of the tourney. If i was an Indian Cricket Fan (TM), i would probably be pissed as hell. But i couldnt really care much for cricket. Which of course, means i can laugh at them.

Incomplete post. Too lazy to type out all i wanted to. Will continue in a day or two.

-> Badrinath.S

P.S.: Of late, i am averaging 12 hours per week in the Library. I read every bloody article in just about every non-technical magazine.

P.P.S.: Most of my previous posts are rants. Need to post a few raves. Liverpool are hardly giving me reason to do so. I havent come across any good band of late. And i am playing far too few games now a days to do them full justice. Sad, innit?

The Post Which Isnt Quite Politically Correct

Before i get into rant mode, or go on to do something just as irritating, i absolutely have to say something - ‘Ha! In your faces!‘ . For more information, please refer this link. I know its late, but what the heck, had to be done.

Anyway, its been so bloody long since i last posted, i almost forgot i had this blog. Tough to believe a year back, i was crazy about blogs. Had about three dozen blogs bookmarked, apart from the ones over at the local blogroll. And now, i barely read any of them. To cut an unwieldily long and incredibly dull story short, let me put it this way - I lost interest in blogs.

Now with my interest somewhat returning, i finally managed to find enough motivation to blog. So, what will this politically incorrect rant be about? About them queer folks roaming our fine streets, perhaps? Or maybe i have a thing against the … ah … African Americans? Or, god forbid, could i be one of those few who dont see what all the Jade Goody fuss is about ?

Neither of those. Its about fat women. And when i say fat, i mean so fat, all the ‘yo mamma so fat…‘ jokes could probably apply to them in real life. Its about the Miss Felicity contest, if you still havent figured what i’ll be ranting about. Felicity was well organized, reasonable participation, gg to all involved and all that, but i absolutely have to say something about the Miss Felicity horror show. For the love of god, just what in the nine hells was happening out there?

I mention only Miss Felicity here, because i couldnt care less about Mr Felicity. Honestly, who wants to see a random bunch of guys on stage? Mr Felicity is something you have to put up with, to get to the better parts - the ones with some half-decent women on stage. That is the principle the thing operates on. The basic funda. Like the horrendous ads on TV you force yourself to watch, just so you dont miss even a single second of an all-important football match.

A lot like yin-and-yang, if you see what i mean. Its a balance. A delicate, delicate, oh-so-friggin-delicate balance. This year, not just was this balance broken, it was annihilated. Destroyed, shattered beyond repair. So, whodunnit?

Personality, they tell me. Seriously, personality? We let something as petty as that come between a babe and a stage! Between a good looking woman and a ground-full of admiring (and placard-holding, wolf-whistling) guys. This is an age when Personality pwns Good Looks. So they want us to think.

Honestly, why should women be judged based on that, when there are several other things to judge them on? It is probably at this point that people reading this will go “Oh, look! This bugger thinks of women as objects! What a horrid mindset in our modern times. May his soul rot in hell, and his flesh be ravaged by starving pirahnas!“

What are ye doing, picking yourself a soulmate? You arent supposed to be choosing someone to spend the rest of your life with. Its a bloody contest. Random people whose names you dont know come on stage, show off some non-existant talent, make a complete mockery of it, try to act funny in their own mindless way, get humiliated by the jeering audience, and finally, one of them gets lucky enough to take home some money. WooHoo, money, and a shiny tag!

If there was just one fat (or should i say thick-boned) person in the whole contest, i couldnt care less. But here, it was almost like a parade of increasingly fat people. Straight from ‘plump‘ to ‘morbidly obese‘. Without meaning offense (well, sort of) to fat people all around the world, please do not, and i repeat, DO NOT take part in contests like these. Yes, i make fun of fat people. Always have. Not very politically correct, i know. Sue me.

Of the three Felicitys i have seen, this was the best organized of them. Sad to say, this also had the worst overall Mr & Miss Felicity contest. Although the contest was beyond saving, the saving grace would have to be two of the contestants for Mr Felicity. One of them won. The other bloody well deserved to.

-> Badrinath.S

P.S : People think it is a ‘talent‘ to come on stage and jump around to crappy music. Even i can do that. Honest.

P.P.S : Some people went on stage, knowing they would be fully humiliated. Laughing at them as i am, i cant help but admire their guts. Seriously, would you do that?

P.P.P.S : Is Steve Finnan the most underrated player EVER? Refer link. Liverpool play The Scum next. Bring em on!

Currently Listening to : Senses Fail

Their Best Songs (imo) : The Priest and the Matador, Still Searching

The Post Which Saw A Movie

This Post Includes -

• A review of the first thirteen minutes of Dhoom 2
• Some flak aimed in the general direction of dumb hindi movies.
• And more of the same.

I have a confession to make - I am not a movie person. I do not watch too many movies. Give me a TV serial, if its interesting enough, i’ll go through seasons upon seasons at a go. When occupied so, I hate leaving the warm, comforting radiation of my monitor, even for a second. The captivating glow of my monitor just seems to draw me in, and i lose all track of time.

*sighs, recollecting all those glorious night-outs for watching every last episode of some or other sitcom*

But i digress. Back to the point. I dont watch too many movies. Maybe the odd one a fortnight. Most of these movies are in english. The rest are in spanish, portugese, french or some other weird-ass language, which I need subtitles for. But once a year, something special happens. And I am not referring to the guy in my wing having his annual bath. I watch a hindi movie about once a calendar year. With this year almost up, and the annual hindi movie not seen yet, I decided to look around. Just checking my options out, you see.

What choices did I have? There was Apna Sapna Money Money. A movie so retarded, it was criticised by even those die hard hindi movie watchers. You know, those guys who choose to switch their brains off for a whole two and a half hours. Just to watch some numbskull fancy-pants actor stutter his way through badly-written dialogue. To see some scantily dressed pseudo-babe pretended that she gave a rats a$$ about the movie, putting up a constipated face and expecting the audience to believe that she is in pain. Eh, just the same rot you find in every hindi movie.

Where was I? Oh yes, Apna Sapna Money Money. Ruled out. Next on my list - Vivah. “Vivah is about the sanctity of marriage … The depiction of the changes in the way of thinking and behaving once you get engaged … an absolute must see for everyone who can speak hindi, or can get hold of the subtitles… Movie of the friggin YEAR!” Some People enthused. The very same Some People whom I dont really like much, right now. A movie on marriage? How about that?

Look around, you see enough of it. Guys cheating on their women, disillusioned with marriage, cribbing about how she bugs him to death. Women crying on others shoulders, cribbing about how he doesnt really listen to her anymore. Enough already! I watch movies for entertainment. I most certainly do not appreciate movies telling guys not to marry hot, wonderfully awesome babes. Jeez!

Vivah. Ruled out. Last on my list - the movie which sold out the most in theatres, a week back. Apparently. A movie which had people going “Who needs a Bond flick when you have this?“, “Bollywood has finally come of age!“, “Mind-blowingly Awesome!” and “Movie of the friggin YEAR!“. Apparently. A movie which boasted several superstars. Apparently. A movie which combined gut-chilling thrill, adrenaline-inducing action and a ton of sentimental crap to moot. Apparently. Such a movie which had no parallel either in India, or anywhere else in the world. Or so They said.

So, I got Dhoom 2, plugged my headphones in, cranked the volume suitably up, settled my posterior comfortably in the chair and started the movie. The next thirteen minutes, I went from Comfortably-Glum to Mildly-Amused, right through Unfortunately-Elightened to Unspeakably-Horrified. Suddenly, my good sense came back to me. I threw my headphones away and switched the monitor off. By god, those thirteen minutes were disgusting.

Sky-diving onto a TRAIN in the middle of a friggin desert? A face mask to impersonate a Queen? Dodging bullets while surfing on SAND? Sand, for heavens sake? SAND? Deflecting bullets with a two-by-four-foot board? Using a bike to jump onto a luxury liner? Shooting a thousand times as accurate as the bad guys? Attending calls from pesky wives while being shot at? A world where the laws of Physics do not apply and nonsense makes more sense than sense itself? What was I supposed to be watching, Alice in friggin Wonderland?

How many people walked into theatres - tickets in hand, dumb smiles on faces, brains switched off and drool all over their popcorn - to watch this nonsense? Quite a lot, apparently. This movie was the top rated movie across theatres in this messed-up country. I know in every heavily populated country, there are always a few people with their mental balance a bit off. But for crying out loud - just how many are there?

Obviously, I base this ‘review’ on the first thirteen mind-numbing minutes of Dhoom 2. I havent seen the whole movie. If anyone would like to defend aforementioned sucky-movie, please do so. I havent flamed anyone for pretty long. I absolutely love flaming in poetry and I have a few wicked rhymes ready in my head. Wicked, wicked rhymes. *rubs hands in anticipation*

-> Badrinath.S

P.S.: Why dont more people get their sorry heinies onto the DF? With the number of jobless people around, you would think atleast some of them would stop orkutting for a mere five minutes, and post something tangible on the DF.

P.P.S.: After a bit of searching, finally managed to find a way to get two awesome games I had played years back - Seven Kingdoms II and Escape from Monkey Island.

Currently Listening To : DragonForce

Their Best Song (imo) : Through the Fire and the Flames

The Post Which Had A Rude Shock

This Post Includes -

• An angry rant about the ridiculous HSSM allocation scheme.
• An analogy with hot dancing girls in a school play/dance.
• The reason why I got a rude shock.

Every sem, every single sodding sem, something always has to be wrong with the HSSM allocation policy. Unlike other courses, where the add/drop is a very clean, efficient and probably the best way to select courses, the HSSM allocation leaves a lot to be desired. The reason(s) for this rant is/are given after I make yet another pointless, yet surprisingly relevant analogy.

Not participating much in school plays was, with foresight, a serious mistake on my part. Not just would it have been an awesome way to bunk classes, but you would get to hobnob with pretty girls from several batches and divisions (you know, seniors and juniors, different divisions). The difference is that this time, not just would you have something to talk to them about, but you would also get a certificate for ‘participation’ in the play.

The fun part of plays is in their making. Imagine you are participating in some form of a musical. A play with dances. And you have been selected as one of the two dozen guys who get to dance with pretty girls. Not bad, eh? You get to dance with them every single day of the rehearsal. If you feel you want to spend more time with aforementioned girl, you can always make the odd mistake, forcing you to redo the part again. On the final day, you get to be seen with your pretty dancing partner by all the audience. And in all the time you have spend in the rehearsal, you can probably hit on a good half dozen of them. Bloody brilliant.

But there are three glitches in this whole arrangement. In every dance, the number of girls is always one less than what is required. FACT. Trust me. The second is that not all dancing girls are ultra pretty, hell no! But atleast you can make do with the other ones. So what is the third, and undoubtably, the worst problem, you ask? Something I am sure most people are familiar with - There is always one teacher in each school who downright hates you. The other kids can get away with murder in front of her. If you as much as sniff your nose, she likens you to Saddam Hussein minus his good qualities.

As is often the case, this teacher shows her ugly mug wherever you are, desperately trying to make your life miserable. And more often than not, she has some say in deciding which guy gets paired with which girl in the dance. Ergo, you are the one guy in the dance who doesnt have a partner. Cases like these result in another GUY being drafted in, for the girl-part of the dance. Its an emergency, you see. Being the only person in the dance without a partner, you get paired with aforementioned GUY, who tends to be a shade too effeminate for comfort.

Call me homophobic, but this is the worst thing which could happen to you. Spending all your rehearsal time dancing with a GUY. Every pretty girl thinking you are Queer. Being too disgusted to hit on girls. Going in front of a thousand people, and dancing with a crossdresser. Having everyone you know in your life present in the audience. The nickname sticking with you for the entirity of your school life. Holy friggin hell! The weight of world on your shoulders! And it is in times like these, when you take one look at your dance partner, you understand why the term “badly pissed off” was invented. Do you get a feeling of how pissed with life you would be if you were in this situation? Hold that thought.

So, what is the analogy I am trying to make with the help of this fictitious scenario? Well, I am the guy in the dance who is hated by the teacher. My dancing partner is the HSSM I was alloted. The suspect-Queer guy is ‘Telugu literature’. The pretty girl is ‘Globalisation‘. Well, I wanted the pretty girl as a dancing partner. Instead, I was paired with the guy. Sure, there are others who would like ‘Telugu Literature‘, and consequently, the effeminate guy. But I was not one of them. And which was why I was pissed as hell. Honestly, does my name sound Telugu or something?

I mean, come on, all I know about telugu are half a dozen swear words. Heck, I cant read and write my own mothertongue, and I was expected to learn a language I dont plan to ever use. And that too, in a class filled with people who have been using it since they could talk. Thankfully, with a bit of negotiation, I managed to get the Religion-Society-whats-its-name course. So much for the rant then. Sort the sodding HSSM allocation out.

*Curses the method used for HSSM allocation*

-> Badrinath.S

P.S.: Wanted to write a movie review. Dhoom 2 - A review of the first eleven excruciating minutes. Next post probably.

P.P.S.: No more news on the Liverpool Sheikh-over.

Currently Listening To : Disturbed

Their Best Songs (imo) : Violence, Liberate, Down with the Sickness

The Post Which Cannot Understand Lawyers

This Post Includes -

• Some retard called Dwivedi filing a court case against Dhoom 2.
• An analogy with fat kids in tight spots.
• A couple of lines on Fifa Manager 2007.

There has been much heated debate about the Movie Censor Board, and how much power it should have in todays society. Is such a regulatory authority really necessary in our future? Should the Board be allowed to censor scenes in movies, or should it just give them a rating? Blah-friggin-Blah. But more on that later.

Now ,visualize in your mind a fat kid. A very fat one. The types whom you (hopefully) made fun of and kicked around badly, way back in school. The types who are considered members of the ‘axis of evil’ because of their destructively dangerous farts. Imagine this kid has been threatened with dire consequences by his mother if he doesnt get his mind off food. His very sadistic, short-tempered, mentally-deranged and gun-wielding mother. Let us, for formality, also assume that said mother happens to have a very good memory, and an even better aim with the gun.

Let us again, in the spirit of creative thinking, assume that initially, the sorry losers who surround this fat kid keep talking about food. Slowly, over time, the fat kid notices a change in group conversations. They arent talking about food anymore! The kid is relieved. The kid is happy. The kid finally begins to shed a bit of weight. The kid likens himself to (a ‘healthy’) Brad Pitt. The kid thinks life rocks. The mothers gun stays uncocked.

And then, without warning, fatty foods make a comeback. The kid tries to read the papers. The first page contains thirty eight references to food. The kid listens to the radio. Songs with food-themes are in high demand. The kid switches the television on. Every advertisement and every program is about food. The kid’s aforementioned loser friends are now talking about food all the friggin time! The sky screams food. The walls scream food. Food, food, food! He cant take it anymore. You see how much he dreads the thought of food? Hold that thought.

What is the analogy here, you ask? YOU are the fat kid. Thats right, YOU. Please, Im not calling you fat, or saying that you are surrounded by losers, or that you have a cuckoo mother. What I am talking about is that deep-rooted feeling of ‘dread’.

The media drag every censor-board saga so long, you begin to feel that front-page news is worse than Page 3 news (not the pictures, mind, just the unnecessary text on Page 3). “A movie is censored!” scream the papers. A thousand people write in, expressing their anguish. All those Sunday-editorials are filled with censor-bashing and censor-defending. The censor-debate pages are popping out of every magazine. People around you just cant get over this topic.

Slowly, things change. People’s memories fade. Peace and prosperity is restored to the world (well, sort of) . Just when things quiten down a bit, when you think you dont have to read any more tiresome articles on this old boring topic, when you can almost feel it in the air - that this ridiculously irritating debate is over for now, enter Whats-His-Name Dwivedi, a lawyer.

Who is this lawyer? Ans why am I calling him a retard? This Dwivedi character, in what is most probably a publicity stunt, has filed a court case against the actors in Dhoom 2 (a movie I dont plan to watch anyway), alleging ‘obscene’ scenes. And what is this scene supposed to be? Acts of sodomy? Bestiality? Graphical depiction of Necrophilia? Crimes against children?

Actually, no. All this is over a kissing scene. Refer to Link Here.

Grow Up. Retard.

-> Badrinath.S

P.S. : FIFA Manager 2007 is almost everything you can ask for in a manager game. And I say that with the experience of having played nine Football managers

P.P.S : gg Sleeper/Vizagite@Room for getting it.

Currently Slogging Through : My Chemical Romance

Their best songs (imo) : Helena, Welcome to the Black Parade

The Post Which Tells A Made Up Story

This is my first post in what seems an eternity. There seemed no point in continuing a blog if I was posting so erratically. Besides, all that I was posting was a load of crap ayway, pretty much like low-grade freestyle-rap. If you do not happen to understand that analogy, dont bother trying.

Top that off with my waning interest in blogs, and there was no reason to post. I went from checking blogroll a couple dozen times a day, to once in two days. Part of the reason is clear if you looked at what utter tripe there was to read, but I digress. Back to the main point. Surprisingly, there actually is one.

There are times when you begin to feel a bit down. Not really depressed, no, that would be too strong a word. Something right in between chronic depression and being your usual self. There are several key events which trigger this, but more on that later. When you are a bit dispirited, you tend to try indulging in activities which help you forget that. For some odd reason, i began reading the archives of my blog.

At some point in this garguantian task, I came across loads of utter dross I had written a while back - I was so ashamed (not really, just making this part up), I almost ended up deleting the blog altogether (like i said, just making it up as i go along), leaving only an apology post online. (You just wish that happened, dont you?) A good nights sleep later, and with my spirits a tad higher than they were the day before, I decided instead to delete certain posts. Those posts were either written badly, or were the ones in which I took my incessant whining to completely new levels. A level in fact, which would put Arsene Wenger at his whingeing best to shame. And then there were some which were disses in one form or other.

Thus, i ended up deleting most of the posts, leaving just a little over twenty. An apology to those few who actually read this (yes, that would be the three of you, standard line, innit?) for subjecting them to some downright nonsensical drivel (not really) over the past several months would be in order, but i’ll leave that for later.

So, anyway, what cataclysm triggered this sequence of events, you ask? What possible apocalytic (sic) event could have led to this? What happening could lead a rabid power-metal fan like myself to dig out and listen to misery-laced rap? Its funny, you know, what turning 20 can do to you. It forces a huge debate inside your head, mostly on the lines of “Holy sodding Hell! What is happening?“. Top that off with Liverpool’s poor run in the EPL, the mounting number of unfinished projects and the lack of new games to slog, and you begin to feel a bit down.

But eventually, you tire of all the contemplation. One fine day, when you are busy following up a thread of thought processes in your head, you suddenly lose interest in it, and with a vehement “Eh! F*ck it!“, you get back to wasting time the way you always used to. Soon, Liverpools form improves. your attention shifts from games to movies and sitcoms.

Anyway now, the project-load has cleared up. Things are looking betternow for Liverpool. I am done slogging a total of six seasons of TV series. My interest in blogs is back. And I am back to the blogosphere, spreading hatred and flicking everything which can click. Dont like the sound of that, do you?

-> Badrinath.S

P.S : The net connection, and WLAN in general have been so bad, I hope there is some reduction in the fees they extort out of us. Why should I pay for infrastructure, if the blighted infrastructure doesnt sodding work? Atleast its gotten better the past week.

P.P.S : Liverpool being linked with a takeover by Dubai International Capital. If it happens, they should get a much needed cash injection. *looks cautiously optimistic*

Currently Slogging Through : My Chemical Romance

Their best song (imo) : Helena

FIFA 07 - The FIFA Evolution

The first time i saw a computer was sometime in the early 90s, at my dads office. By 1994, i was playing Dangerous Dave, Crazy Cars 3, and the two Price of Persia games on his 486. Not that i was any good, mind you. But when i was in eight grade or so, and was slogging my way through all the demos you would get with the CGW mag, one particular CD-exchange with a friend of mine saw me in possession of FIFA 98 - the Road to the World Cup. That was among the first full versions games i played.

FIFA 98 and 99

I still remember part of the gameplay of FIFA 98 - how easy it was to take some Brazilian player and run through the center, while doing nifty tricks with the Ctrl and Alt keys; the sense of euphoria i had after scoring a goal (euphoria used in a very loose sense here); the frustrating offside rule which took me a while to understand; the title song by Blur accompanying the intro video; playing in the indoor stadium; and many other peculiarities. Even when i got my hands on FIFA 99, i still continued playing this.

FIFA 2000

The gameplay had improved considerably atleast in two areas - instead of diving like crazy and missing the ball (like in the prev FIFA games), tackles were much easier to make. It was also much easier to pass the ball, with the red, yellow and green indicators. Sadly, the game had a very arcade feel to it and more often than not, the scorelines were unrealistic. Despite this, it was highly addictive, more so than 98.

FIFA 2002

I was not really aware that FIFA 2001 had released (in those days, it never occured to me to use the internet for anything except mail), and had to shift from FIFA 2000 to 2002 directly. Later, of course i managed to play that game i had missed, and it was one of the first which had somewhat believable physics. Anyway, if i remember right, 2002 was the first time there was a power bar. This was also the first FIFA game on which i played multiplayer - on dialup, with a friend on mine. Given how bad the connection used to be, and how low the probability was of actually finishing a game, we decided to score points based on goals scored. After a total of 50-odd goals scored between us, i managed to win the series by scoring two more than him.

A major, major problem here was the sheer number of scoring sweet-spots (places on the feild such that if you shoot from there, your shots WILL go in) . I think the Z and C keys were used to curl the ball, and there was one such sweet spot right at the half way line! All you had to do was go to the edge of the center circle, hit Z+D or something, and if you have the power right, you would score a goal! Totally ridiculous. I was more than glad when FIFA 2003 was released.

FIFA 2003 to 2005

FIFA 2003 was what i spent most of my FIFA playing time on. I would play this nearly everyday, for a whole year. Etra fluidity was added in this game, and the graphics were much better. Even after the 2004 one came, i continued playing this - one because Off the Ball control was bloody irritating; two, because the manager mode disgusted me; and three, because FIFA 2004 would crawl on the pc i have at home.

By the time FIFA 2005 was released, i was in IIIT. The pc at home wouldnt support it anyway, and obviously, neither would the lab pcs we had in the first year. Ganand had bought himself a pc by then, and i managed to play it. Initially, the game was ridiculously difficult - given i was shifting from 2003 to 2005. Never spent as much time as i would have liked to on this, but still managed to play it till the highest difficulty.

FIFA 2006

The best of the lot in every aspect (before 2007 was released, atleast). The “manager mode ” was actually resembling one, the players were much more realistic, and so were the general ball physics - the ball wouldnt just stick to your feet when you ran. The tricks were pretty neat, but relatively useless in higher difficulty modes. Thankfully, Off the Ball control was also removed. There were two major problems in this game, in the multiplayer mode and the Career mode. The gameplay favoured those who preferred a more physical and direct style of play. So, you could just keep Q-E-D pressed, and the ball will eventually be regained. The number of sweet spots were fewer - five, if i counted right, all at the edge of the area (against World Class) and highly irritating in multiplayer. The goalkeepers were unbeatable, unless you did one of the following -

1. A well controlled lob over his head (which i like scoring, it almost screams “classy shot”)

2. A low hard shot inside the box (which i normally score from)

3. Using one of the four other sweet-spots. (which is, sadly, what most people in multiplayer use)

4. Head the ball in from a cross. (which i TRY the most, and score a few)

5. Somehow manage to hit the post, and hope that the ball goes in.

6. Somehow score a freak goal - rebounds and the like

The problem with the Career mode was that it had near zero depth. Scouted players were rated too high, you could find one with a 93 rating. Some ten years of quick-simming in the career mode, some nifty buys and some good financial decisions later, i had a team of 22 players - two for each position of the pitch - each of them above 90. Everyone in the first team and the subs bench was above 95. Defies logic, doesnt it? And then came …

FIFA 07

A major, MAJOR improvement from FIFA 06. I have played only one PES game, but what struck me the most was the physics - ball control and collisions. In earlier FIFA games, all the collisions looked as if they were some predecided sequences being played out. In FIFA 07, everything is more realistic. When you are counter attacking, it mirrors what happens in real life - opposing players come running back at top speed, and you own players stream forward. The AI is much better, and the goalkeeper is certainly beatable by ANY good shot, even at World Class. Of course, getting a shot away without deflections in World Class is pretty difficult. The Growth Rate in the Career Mode works really well - i had a 63 rated player become 82 in three partly-simmed, partly-played seasons. (on four minutes a match) Next post will be a (relatively) short review of FIFA 07.

In the two multiplayer games i have played, connection was lost each time a goal was scored :(. I hope what i have played isnt the finished version. I managed to spend some 30+ hours on it over two days, almost done with Professional, and soon will have to shift to World Class :D. Still cant head the ball properly against professional, though

-> Badrinath. S

P.S.: gg EA

P.P.S. : Dont plan to play FIFA 07 any more for some time now, my fingers pain so bad, i can barely type

Next Post : FIFA 07 - A Review

The Merseyside Derby

With the past few weeks being surprisingly hectic (for reasons i am not able to ascertain myself), and with six drafts languishing half-finished on my wordpress account, i switched my pc on. I turned the volume bar on as high as it would go, and opened firefox. The music was at full blast, i could almost see my speakers tremble - “The Black Halo” by Kamelot was playing, Winamp told me. Roy Khan was screaming “betrayal” at the top of his voice, and the haunting guitar sounds were swamping my head, but it did little to lift my spirits.

The past week or two had not really been uneventful, but my interest in local events was at an all time low. A decent sunday Carnival, an above-average FSIS and a boring Panel Discussion apart, i had little to write/whine about. Besides, just what could i say on these events? I managed to see just the first part of the Sunday Carnival - not nearly enough to dedicate a whole post to it. The FSIS was about the best FSIS i have seen in recent times, and that is no great achievement, given how dull most of them are. The faculty had answers to many questions, and i would go so far to call a reasonable amount of them “satisfactory“.

The Panel Discussion was … erm … bearable, but noone focused on the right thing, and little came of it. You know a panel discussion is not really of great quality when the best thing you can say about it is - “The Moderator spoke well“. But when that is the ONLY good thing you can say, it doesnt provide nearly enough material to rant/write about. Eh, well, atleast the faculty seem willing to try discussing about students issues, have to give them credit for that.

So, to continue where i left off, i opened firefox. The time it took to open prompted me to reflect on the past week. The day had been downright horrid, till then. Just like the week before was.

I had spent my whole life staying as far from the bottom of the class as i could, academically of course. All of a sudden, on two seperate occasions, i had the lowest marks in the class in a midsem. Just a few days before that, i had discovered that the Curse of the *******y was on me (the next post dedicated to this, dont get any strange ideas).

And a bit after that, i had to spend a good six hours cleaning up my room and my pc, as my parents were visiting to check on their “investment“. (Well, after what seemed to be an eternity, atleast i managed to get my hands on some PROPER food). On top of that, it takes about an hour to download the filelist of someone on DC. WLAN speeds are killing me. (Take my life, even take my freedom, please, pretty please, spare my WLAN connection :().

These and several other events left me feeling disgusted with the week (not the fact that my parents were visiting mind you, but that i had to clean my room). As i have already stated, a truly horrid week, it was.

Where was I? Oh yes, i opened firefox and after a bit of crafty navigation (which invloved opening a couple dozen tabs), i came upon a page which i frequent - just one glance at that page, things suddenly started looking a whole lot better. It was the page which showed Liverpool’s fixtures for the rest of the season. The next match - Everton vs Liverpool.

“Its a bloody football match, you tw4t!!” - i can hear people say (in the alternate world in which i try to simulate reality). “Everton arent a big club, and Liverpool arent exactly world beaters with a score of stars!!” they add for good measure. But this match (called the Merseyside Derby) was the ONE match which transformed me from a “casual football fan” to a “football fanatic” a few years ago (not to be confused with “football hooligan“, please :P). Of course, while playing football myself, i am little more than hopeless, and i honestly could have done better with two left feet, so to speak.

But the passion and the drive i saw in the players and the supporters - the sense of anticipation before the match, the atmosphere in the stadium during even the dullest moment in the match, the way they were willing their team on to win, their shoulders dropping when a player shot at goal and missed, the agony on their faces when they conceded a goal, the sheer joy when they scored one, and the jubiliant faces celebrating a victory over their fiercest of fierce rivals - all this compelled me to find out as much as i could about football. And i was nowhere near the stadium, i was sitting and watching this on TV.

All i knew about footbal then were the basic rules and the star players of top half teams in the EPL. After seeing this match, i decided to learn as much as i could about football. (not for MY playing, of course). So after visiting six websites-a-day, slogging 1500+ hours through five Football Managers (comp games, of course), playing eight FIFA-series games and watching atleast three hundred live games, i finally know enough about it to talk about it at length.

And this is my verdict - Liverpool to crush the blushite.

-> Badrinath.S

P.S. : Chant with me “Dirk Kuyt, Dirk Kuyt, Dirk Kuyt….“. Dont know who he is? Doesnt matter. What a height of fodality performance he put in against West Ham!

P.P.S. : West Ham *eyes reflect total contempt and disgust*. Javier Mascherano and Carlos Tevez joined them! Can you believe that? Two of Argentina’s brightest starts (bar Messi of course) joining a mid table team, who now think they can challenge for the title. I guess *cough* Abramovich *cough* is behind this.

P.P.P.S : Some new blogs on blogroll are pretty darn decent. Yaay! More proper stuff to read!

Independence day @ IIIT

How did you celebrate the Independence Day in your school? Remember all the kids in neat, fresh uniforms and the PT-guy with the weird voice shouting at them? Remember the compulsory attendance, and the teachers being all tense and hyper? Remember the flags, sweets and what-not they distributed? Remember the boring speeches made and the whack cultural program put up by your classmates? And if you were important or unlucky enough, remember the march pasts and the “guest of honour” too?

I am not complaining, mind you, just wondering - whatever happened to all that? Now the Independence Day means just one thing to me - yet another holiday, a day where I can sleep at six in the morning and wake up at two in the afternoon, just in time for lunch. No doubt, someone or other would be cussing at me right now, calling me an unpatriotic lout, and trying to associate their most profane profanities with my name. But hang on a minute, will you?

Does being “patriotic” mean waking up early in the morning, listening to some random dumbasses delivering a few boring speeches and saluting the flag of your country? Respecting your country and being proud of who you are - isn’t that enough? I have no idea what it means to be a part of a freedom struggle, and if im lucky enough, I never will. Days like the Independence Day and the Republic Day exist more in history text books, and less in reality.

Anyway, I was jobless enough to attend the evening function in iiit, a small overview follows, purely my views, with an overdose of criticism.

The Telugu Play

Yes, there was a play in Telugu. I understood only two words of the whole script, and those were English words. So there I was - sitting there like an idiot, putting on a typical Jose Moaninho face, twiddling my thumbs, praying that this was just a bad joke, and that time would pass quickly. The general audience somehow seemed to like the play. Why? Maybe it had something to do with the fact that while they understood the dialogues and the story, all I saw was a few buffoons on stage talking utter gibberish. But still, I can’t really judge the play. People who understood it actually thought it was a very funny play. I can’t really argue with that now, can I?

“The Fusion Ensemble”…

… to quote Prasanna, who played the violin with surprisingly few mistakes (if any, of course). Well, can’t argue with the “ensemble” part, but “fusion”? The guitars seemed unnecessary, could barely hear them at the back, and the drums appeared unnecessary as well. But all in all, a pretty decent performance, by any standards. The guitar seems to have a glam-factor associated with it, doesn’t it? Atleast given the number of people who would prefer learning a guitar over a violin, that would be my inference. No, I don’t want this to lead to a guitar vs. violin flame (not that I would care either way, of course).

The English Play

It is difficult to put up a play - I know that, and I can say so from a couple of personal experiences. Once in eight grade, I wrote a decent script for a play (decent given I was thirteen at that time, dammit!). I actually managed to convince a couple of people to enact it out along with me. I would rate that experience pretty high among the most disgusting things I have done in my life. The same script which I thought was reeking with humour, wit and sarcasm (I said I was thirteen, didn’t I?) turned out to be a Z-grade play, given the way it was acted out. On another occasion, during the rehearsal of a play I was in, even after a fortnight of practice, half the cast could not deliver the dialogues properly.

Like I said - I know it is difficult to put up a play, and no offense to anyone who put effort into this thing. But SERIOUSLY! A play like that after three whole months of training in the dramatics club!! (If such a club existed for that long, of course, I wouldn’t know). A crappy heard-it-a-million-times-before script, bad acting and choppy dialogue delivery - not really an ideal combination for any play. I have a pretty decent vocabulary when it comes to insulting people, things or events. But even I find it pretty difficult to come up with enough words to express my disappointment. Of course, I doubt I could have done a better job than that. But atleast they had the balls to act on stage. Have to give them that.

The Faculty Speech-ing

Well, all the faculty members were called out to give their standard “well done, do better” speeches. This was followed by Professor Ramancharla singing. Yes, you read right - singing. Despite my ridiculously low knowledge on Hindi films, I could make one thing out - he was clearly a fan of Amitabh Bachchan movies. At first, it was all in good fun. Later however, the situation got a little … embarrassing as he stretched the songs a bit too much. (I know speech-ing isn’t a word. heard of a poet-ic license? this is a prose-aic license :P)

I have seen a mime-show-thing just once before, and I thought that was weird. No comments on this.

Honest to god, I am a critic of the way some things are being handled on campus, but credit where they deserve it - gg cultural council and the people who came up with the summer cultural camp thing. I enjoyed the view sitting on a dozen stacked-up chairs at the end.

-> Badrinath.S

P.S. : forgot to mention before, the fachas now have the misfortune of having me as the C-programming TA. Which moron didn’t want ug3 to get half-TA-ships? But with an average estimated pay of a hundred bucks an hour, I can’t really complain.

P.P.S. : gg new deputy-speaker of the parliament cum cultural-whatever samba.

P.P.P.S. : Stratovarius *worships*

Next Posts (hopefully) Include -

The Freshers
(as and when it is held)

The Literary Club Meet One
(despite my uncanny ability to talk utter crap for as long as I can, on absolutely anything at all in BC-sessions, my excuses for why I did so miserably in JAM)

Prof PKRs mail - what was all that about?
(I don’t know, just have to make stuff up. im pretty good at that sort of thing :P)

The month of October - the most awaited games of the year?
(Imo, of course. im still slogging my way through Heroes of Might and Magic - V *down on his knees, worships*)

 

The 3CFF and the Literary Club

Yes, i was so darn lazy to put out posts the past fortnight, this is almost three posts rolled into one (more muck for one click?). Anyway, on the 29th and 30th, the 3CFF was held. The 3CFF? The Tri continental Film Festival or something, its full form. Given my dislike for documentaries, i was not really planning to go. But thanks to an interesting combination of curiosity, boredom and acute joblessness i found myself at the Motorola School. But before that, a note on the Convocation.

The Convocation

I missed it. For most events i plan to attend, i usually go on time, and end up waiting. This time, i decided to go a bit late. Sadly, the “a bit” part turned out to be a bit too much, and by the time i got to the ground, the ceremony was over.

Where was i before this? Oh, yes, the 3CFF -

Day One

Some four or so movies were shown on day one, i missed the first one (something on the lines of a Miss.Something saving the world). The second one, i didnt like and left half way - “Thirst” it was called. People i know somehow seemed to like it, even going so far as to call it the “best” of the lot. Going by the awards it was given, quite a lot of people must have thought the same. The last one was funny, but for the wrong reasons (read : weird acting). “Sisters in law” was its title, and it was about a couple of women in Cameroon fighting for womens rights.

Day Two

Missed a couple of documentaries on Day Two. This day had (imo) two of the best films in this so called festival - “The Take” and “Weapons of Mass Deception“. The former gets my vote as the second best documentary i have ever seen. Of course, the BEST documentary EVER made (imo, of course) being “Steven Gerrard - My Life“. It was pretty surprising, the ridiculously low number of people who came to see these “non-mainstream” films. Oh yes, and a word of caution - in case the prospect of a couple of nowhere-near-babe lesbians spooning in Kerala does not appeal to you, avoid “Sancharram“. Smiley, as would be expected of him, seemed to think it was the best if the lot. Talk about weird tastes!!

Troll’s Club

The literary Club had its first meeting last friday - it was pretty decent, as club meetings go, of course. Sadly, the game played was dumb charades, and that is not really something i enjoy enacting. In my first year, i had attended just one meeting of the DPSC, and to be quite honest, it was … dull, to put it lightly. Heres hoping this club fares better. Its gotten off to an average start (with ~ 20 people for its first meeting). Bring on JAM! I can blab on (incoherently) about anything, for nearly as long as i like. I should stand a pretty decent chance in JAM.

The Library

One of the (very, very few) good things about being a neta is that you can get stuff done. So, troll managed to convince the people concerned that if they ever needed someone to go buy library books, they need only ask him, and he would do the needful. Thanks to that bit of neta-giri, he and sica managed to go and buy a few decent books for the library. So, instead of more “How to help yourself by helping yourself“, “Home Remedies for the Indian Housewife” and “How to live your sodding life” type books, we have some PROPER books. More on that in this fortnight old post. And of the new books - I am halfway through Vernon God Little. Have to say, its pretty darn good.

Liverpool

A close third last season, humiliating friendly defeats last month, several new signings most with an emphasis on pace and some with a shady past, a sense of major optimism among their fans, confident words from the manager and players , more crap from a clearly scared Moaninho - will 2006/07 be Liverpool’s season? Well, their season starts today, with the CL qualifier against Haifa, at Anfield. This is followed by the Community Shield against Chelsea. Oh yes, and sidetracking a bit - anyone play FIFA 06 multiplayer? my boredom has reached a ridiculously high level, despite all the stuff to do.

-> Badrinath S

P.S. : My usually low levels of creativity take a furthur dip - i seem to be suffering from some sort of a weird creativity-block. This is one hell of a crappy post.

P.P.S. : Being especially bored, i have been slogging through this list, and im done till about ‘I’. What i have been doing is taking each band and searching through YouTube for videos. Judging by the one or two odd videos of these bands on YouTube, songs by these bands were really good - Dragonforce, Angra, Edguy and Elvenking. Anyone have any of their albums?

P.P.P.S : Speaking of YouTube, this is a pretty decent video of a lightsaber duel. Wonder how they did it. “Star Wars” is one of the first things which comes to mind at the mention of a lightsaber, aye? Take a look at this video. Tentatively titled Star Wars 2007, and for the PS3 and XBOX-360 only, if the gameplay is anywhere near what is being promised, i’ll be as chuffed as i have ever been (provided i can play it, of course). *eyes reflect total awe*.